My heart is so heavy and I feel led to share this with you. We recently had a tremendous and unexpected loss in our family. My husband's baby sister passed away just shy of her 31st birthday.
The last few weeks have been a blurry, heartbreaking mess. The loss of a loved one is raw and real. It's hard to navigate at times. It's hard to even breathe at times. So you try to cling to what you can to still feel close, to still feel and remember.
Sam was gorgeous ya'll, so smart, hardworking, giving, and genuine. She had an infectious smile and absolutely loved being a momma. But people and circumstances in her life left her feeling less than enough. She couldn't see the beauty in herself that we could. She was self conscious about her looks, especially after the birth of her daughter. She would always say, "Maybe next time. My hair is a mess." or "Don't get me in this one, I don't have any make-up on."
As we dug through photos and videos, pulling out pictures for her funeral we realized how few we had of her and her daughter. Her beautiful baby girl, her heart and the single thing in her life she was most proud of only has a handful of photos of her and her mommy. And I am heartbroken for her.
Of course we will tell her baby girl how much her momma loved and adored her but she won't be able to see that. She won't be able to see that big beautiful smile, those eyes full of love just for her and it breaks my heart.
I began to think about my own children and the times we've spent together. I thought about my own insecurities and the opportunities for pictures with my family that I have declined because I didn't feel beautiful.
No one likes to think about these things but tomorrow is not promised. We all struggle with having confidence in ourselves in one way or another. But I have realized through all of this that my babies think I hung the moon. They love me unconditionally. They don't care if I haven't washed my hair in 3 days or if I'm dressed like a queen, if I still need to lose that baby weight from my last pregnancy or if I'm in the best shape of my life. They care about the time and love I pour into them. I want my kiddos to know how much I love them whether I am here or not. I want them to be able to look at photos and see that love, remember those feelings.
I want to encourage you to set your insecurities aside and get in those pictures with your family. It doesn't matter if they are snaps with your cell phone or professional pictures. They will cherish them all because you are loved, you are beautiful and you are enough!
XOXO,
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